After 2 years, I had to contact the genetic counselor (who we consulted during our pregnancy). She is the one who, after an amniocentisis, basically told us outright that we should abort.
Because there were SOME cells (aka mosaicism) on chromosome 1 that showed an additional isochromosome for the long arm, he MIGHT be mentally retarded, he MIGHT have heart defects, he MIGHT have maldevelopment, he MIGHT have a cleft palate, he MIGHT have had small eyes, he MIGHT have seizures. That’s a lot of MIGHTS. They only had three cases that were similar, but not the same. In those three cases, all three babies died before the age of 3 months. So, I guess her thought was that we should not put ourselves through that. She had no concerns about ending a life because of the “Mights”.
We did go on to have a cordocentesis (where they draw blood from the umbilical cord, in-utero, rather than use amniotic fluid). Those results came back perfect.
Even though one test was fine, the results of the amnio lingered, and the entire rest of the pregnancy was filled with stress, fear and doubt. Looking back, we really should not have even gotten the test, as the results would not have changed our decision. We may not be extremely religious, but we have morals and strict beliefs, including the fact that life begins at conception. So, for us, aborting would be the same as murder. I don’t care about the word “viable”. My little guy had a heartbeat, he had a brain, he had arms, legs, fingers and toes. He could swallow and kick. That, my friends, is LIFE. (Please, there is no need to make any nasty comments if you don’t agree with me, as this is not the time or place, and you aren’t going to change my mind).
I still hold a bit of a grudge against the woman who told us to abort our beloved little Zane. Maybe he isn’t medically perfect, but he is absolutely PERFECT to us. I absolutely, without a doubt, can not imagine my life without him. He is an amazing little soul!
Chatting with the genetic counselor via email today brought back a lot of negative memories. I just needed the records, but she asked some questions. I wish I could tell her he went on to be completely healthy, and that she was wrong. But, alas, he does have some medical issues. Yes, he did go on to have seizures, and yes, he is developmentally behind as a result. But, I wish I could explain to her that those things do not make me wish he was not born. There has never been a moment that I wished I had made a different decision. He is a person. He is more than the list of diagnoses on a piece of paper. He is AMAZING.
She MIGHT want to eat her words.